I think I finally understand the way Leah felt. Shoo! These frustrations that we have as women.
There are certain women that God has created truly as dynamites. Women He has placed so much in them, so much that even themselves cannot comprehend. These Women, because they are not aware of what this bomb is in them they try to fit themselves in boxes of life defined by life as they know it, but they always struggle to fit in wherever they squeeze themselves in. There is always that thing in them that makes them want to stand out, press out or desire more because in them there is this out most unlimited character. These would have struggled even with relationships from childhood all the way to holding down relationships with men.
Leah was a huge thing (a bomb, a dynamite). God had chosen her to give birth to the tribe of Judah, a lion tribe that was destined to give birth to the heir of the heavens. Yet she desired things that were not designed for her, e.g. love of a man. She was in competition with her sister because she didn’t understand who she was. Jacob was a husband to Rachel but he was no husband that had capacity to handle her. God had capacity to handle her because He knew who He had made her to be. Tamar also followed a similar track until she settled in her call, to give birth to the continuation of the blessing of God upon Judah. Mary, similar circumstance. We do no hear of Joseph after Jesus’ baby dedication.
The struggle these women face is not different to that which Jesus faced as a child, when her mom once had to drag Him out of the temple of God. Jesus had a mandate no human could understand or perceive, but had to be subjected to human limitation for a short while for the purpose of the very mandate. Scripture says in Hebrews 5:8, Son though he was, he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him.
These limitations and suffering, God allows for the purpose of teaching these dynamites obedience to Him, as well as to learn to contain the gift.
They know deep down in them that they are massive than the little bodies they are stationed in. But because they are in these bodies they tend to want to follow the norms but they struggle in the norms. Whoever God would have brought into their lives, be it parent; sibling; friend or husband is meant to carry a certain or a particular element that is meant to help them move forward to their destiny, but they instead require the worldly or bodily norms hence the struggle.
These women God created for Himself to carry something big that no human has capacity to handle. Only God has capacity to handle them.
The Holy Spirit once said to me in a voice ‘things will keep happening to you until you realise that I have set you apart for myself’. I had no idea the meaning of this then, Instead I settled to the explanation that we are all set apart for God through a process. But there are those that God has truly and fully set apart for Himself. These are the ones that need to know that their entire focus should be 100% on God for He is the only one who has capacity to handle them. Their life cannot be ‘normal’ no matter how hard they try. They are too much for humanly norms and understanding and trying hard to fit in only causes distress. Their focus should be entirely on God.
Deborah, was a wife, dynamite as she was. However, she was fully focused on God. She even had a special place away from home set for her to attend to God and her mandate. It doesn’t mean they can’t marry or have families, it just means their lives cannot be as normal because they are fully set apart for God and for the mandate of God. Which is their first priority
I listened to an interview on Priscilla Shirer once. She was talking about how she was so handful as a child and a teenager. Luckily for her, she had a teacher that could recognize her struggle, spoke to her father and the father helped her through it all which shaped her to who she is today.
May the Lord help these women.
This morning the spirit was pressing an idea in my heart about who we are, us and our children. We are a special case, and until we accept ourselves as a special case, we will struggle trying to fit into norms. There’s no provision for us in the norms. He said, the things we desire they are all in Him, He has taken us and set us apart, and he doesn’t take only you he takes all that is yours too. It’s not marriage, it’s not children it’s all about a God purpose that every life has been birthed to. It is all about God’s purpose.
We should stop fixating our eyes on just one thing, we should look beyond the norm. Having a husband is nice and having a wife is nice, but that should not be the ultimate. If marriage has no God purpose, it’s pointless.
I was pressed to look at the scripture that says today I have begotten you, you are mine. That sounds like a covenant (Psalm 2:7). We belong to God Mfesi and for his purpose and his will. Our children are for a God purpose too. The sooner we get with the program the sooner that becomes our norm, which is heaven on earth.
Verse 8 says, ask me I will make the nation’s your inheritance, the ends of the earth your possession. Now tell me if that sounds like a normal person’s portion.