by Widi Botha
Many marriages are shaken when men are between 35 to 48 years old.
When men are between 35 to 48 many things happen. This is the stage when small houses are usually created, when divorce usually takes place. Not all marriages will survive this stage. But why 35-48 range? Don’t get me wrong infidelity problems can happen at any stage but for married people, I found this age range to be the most challenging one.
There are many factors that make things go this way. This is the stage when many married men would have achieved their goals like building a house, buying cars of their dream, and they would have accomplished financial freedom. They would have achieved what they might never have experienced before, so they become idle and start exploring pleasure.
They start drinking heavily and start going places they shouldn’t be going. It is at this stage that they start looking attractive to many single women out there that are looking for stable men to take care of them.
Their cars, this new level of stability and their financial freedom will attract women to them. Church becomes less attractive for many men during this phase as they stop going to church, or they keep going but will become resistant to the holy teachings. So, they join different clubs. Then they start entertaining evil counsel from these clubs, from different men that appear to be doing better than them. These men become their role models.
Some women married to these men would have become too complacent. As they stop taking care of themselves, leading to losing shape and becoming unattractive by their own doing. Some will stop caring for their husbands.
Some women will become very disrespectful. They develop a sudden bad mouth, and they become very militaristic in nature. They stop honoring their husbands, and they start addressing them as if they are children.
This relaxing is very common. People usually forget what made them “loved” in the first place. To make matters worse many women start losing interest in sex when men are at their peak. This is why Plato/Aristotle suggested an age gape between men and women (husbands 33 wives 20). Because a man would be at his peak at 40 whilst a woman would be adjusting to menopause at 40. If they are of the same age a crisis might happen. One partner becoming more interested whilst the other losing interest.
When men are between 35 to 45 the level of lust becomes very abnormal. If lust was contained between 25 to 35 just because they were working on different goals, it will come back strongly between 35 to 45 when they are now relaxed and celebrating a certain level of success.
If your husband happens to be between 35 to 45 then this article is for you. Maybe you have already started dressing like a Chinese Monk, you are at ease, you are saying “we now have 10 years of marriage.” Let me warn you. For many men this phase 35-48 will trouble them. They will do drama. Though for some it will pass as they will return to being good husbands. Though they might be wild for a season.
The only dangerous thing is determined by the kind of women they will fall for outside marriage during this stage. If they fall into the hands of those women that are too caring, that use certain juju, that are very submissive and too “providing” then such an affair may become a second marriage or just a permanent affair that might result in the creation of children when it was meant to be just a one-night stand sort of relationship.
Many women with men that fall under this age range know what I am talking about. I said men because I am focusing on men, I know women have their own problems.
Those men that grew up righteous and upright might suddenly change at this stage. They start having thoughts like “but I have slept with just one woman that happens to be my wife can I die like this? What does it feel like to have a different woman? I have never experienced coloreds now I have money will I not try? I don’t know what a three some is like can I at least try it just once, what does it feel like to date a beautiful 18-year old of this generation, my generation never had fine women like this new generation.”
Many times we handle these problems as spiritual problems, but they are not always spiritually related. Negligence in any area can cause much harm. Women must never relax and say things like “we now have 15 years in marriage I can now do whatever I want.” Such thinking will bring too much harm in different marriages.
This is a stage when HIV is usually introduced in a relationship. Couples might have survived it the time they got married. But it will resurface during this stage (35-48). Many women target men that fall under this stage. They do different tricks to woo them. Competition will become a reality again at this phase. Maybe you won when your husband was 28 but as he gets to 35 another battle resurfaces again.
“Love relationships are like soccer if you win the league this season you might lose it the next season, so always train never relax
Widi Bota, a marriage coach shared this message with us to inspire us to take care of ourselves as women. The original author is unknown