Hosea 2:16, “And it shall be, in that day,” Says the Lord, “That you will call Me ‘Ishi [My Husband],’And no longer call Me ‘Baali [My Master],’
The beginning of an error is when we exalt human culture by infusing the word of God into it to make it legit. Colossians 2:8 says, Be careful not to allow anyone to captivate you through an empty, deceitful philosophy that is according to human traditions and the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ. As the children of God, our culture, our tradition and our philosophy is defined by the word of God.
Paul in 1 Corinthians 7 speaks a clear distinction between marriage and celibacy. In his own authority he tells the widows and the unmarried that it is good to remain as is. However, if they cannot contain themselves to celibacy, they should rather marry. In other words, be celibate or marry. This message leaves no room for in between. It is either you marry or stay celibate, you cannot be with anyone outside of marriage, that is fornication. This is in the bible, therefore, is a word of God
Some of the problems we experience as women are due to us having exalted culture and human traditions above the word of God. Culture might say, ‘if you have a child together and stay together you are married’. In law this is not even regarded as customary marriage, it is cohabiting. Customary marriage requires that there be dowry negotiations and payment thereof as well as a handover of the bride. Therefore, when a woman has not been given over by her family to the other family, there is no marriage there. It is not about how you wed, but about the handing over of the bride that constitutes a relationship a marriage. When the cohabiting partners split, there are no legal implications except those relating to children.
There are also spiritual disadvantages that apply. An official marriage, God has ordained and in His sight it is a union. Therefore, there is a spiritual covering on this marriage. Paul continues to say in vs 13-16. If you are married, even if the other is an unbeliever, while the other is a believer the unbeliever is covered by the sanctification of the believer, therefore they should not divorce if they are happy. There is a spiritual marital covering on this one, hence usually it is officiated by an ordained priest
When you are not officially married you are exposed spiritually, especially if one of you is an unbeliever. We then wonder why when we are fighting so hard for these ‘marriages’ as defined by culture, God does not respond as quick or in the manner we expect. Some of the problems we face are even consequences of us defying the clear instruction of the word of God – marry or be celibate. We also wonder why a man who has not seen the urgency and the importance to officially make you his wife treat us the way they do, having allowed them to have us in the first place. Jacob wanted to marry Rachel and had to work for Laban 7 years to fulfill the dowry requirements. But when Laban gave him Leah, a wife he did not want, Laban did not say since you didn’t want her you can have her for free. Instead he said, now you can work same period for Rachel. Leah became his wife no matter how he treated her, she was his wife and because of that she was under the covering of an ordained marriage and God was fighting with her.
The world gave us a relationship, dating, partnership, cohabiting etc. just so we can exercise proudly the ‘grey area’ not catered for in the word of God. But the grey area has consequences that now we want to come back to God to fix for us. Is that not hypocrisy? It is this world culture trap that causes women to be desperate for marriage to a point of accepting anything in the name of marriage
The joy of a woman is in the Lord, not in a man. A woman is the glory of a man, yes. A man that is in a marriage understands that his glory is revealed by the woman he has married. His wife reflects his authority, power and weight. Would an unmarried man truly understand that?
We need to hold everything we do as children of God to the standard of the word of God, not the standard of the world. God holds His women like treasure, yet because we don’t know this value we have through God we settle ourselves down to the standard of the world. We do this because we think our joy is in a man instead of Jesus. Everything you have comes from God incl. the official husband. Therefore, you will fight tooth and nail for your marriage given to you by God. But fighting for a relationship or cohabitation is like pouring water in the grass to destroy it, instead the grass just grows. He needs to make you his wife because an ordained marriage, its cord is Christ so Christ will be part of the fight. Otherwise you are fighting on your own.
Understand your value in Christ woman of God so you are not swayed to and fro by every doctrine or philosophy you hear. Or even the sweetest words and promises that a man speaks to you. The joy of a woman is in the Lord. The man, you are only supposed to reflect his glory as your husband. Many women, married women are crying of men who are disrespecting them, and treating them like nothing. How can we then expect a man who has no understanding of the value of the woman to respect her? Dowry is cultural and biblical. It is the first step to teach a man to value his wife. It starts by him respecting you enough to respect your family.
The world and culture pressures women so much to marry, because of the stigma that comes with being an unmarried woman, especially with children. But what does God say about these daughters? After all, every woman is a daughter of God and a bride of Christ. He is every woman’s husband? He is the Holy God who left His heavenly throne to come and save mankind. That is how much he cared and loved. He didn’t have to, but He did. He spent on earth 33 years, held up in mediocre just so as to save us. It wasn’t time wasting for Him because it was love. Then He Being God, allowed Himself to be ridiculed and mocked by His own creation. He allowed the body to be beaten up and crucified to save the soul of a person. This is the price Jesus paid to have us, His life. No man can do that. That very God calls a woman His bride and His daughter. However, that very bride and daughter is accepting being treated like nothing. Why?
As a woman, you are a bride of this very Christ, a daughter of God no matter how low or filthy or unworthy the world sees you. You are the daughter of the Most High God who qualifies you as a Queen in His kingdom, no matter your looks or status. Why do you then let man trample over you who can never do what Christ did for you?
Woman wake up, stand up and stand out. For as long as Christ is not your first husband, marriage is going to be tough and being unmarried is going to be a stigma. Every relationship of a woman should stem out of her relationship with Christ. It should be that branch that Christ cuts out when it doesn’t produce fruit. Let your zeal for marriage be for a marriage with Christ first. Let Christ betroth you first. Then He will direct all your other relationships. You are more precious than ruby in His eyes, don’t value yourself less than He does because of world pressures. After all, He created all mankind, even the ones setting human standards. His standard is above the world’s.
You are deeply loved, embrace that!